You've probably peeped by now that though I am VERY human and NO BETTA than anyone else I choose to see the world through very different eyes...LOVING EYES. Instead of jumping on bandwagons of negativity and judgment I try my very best to see the "other" side and to find solutions instead of dwelling on the problem.

The recent Rihanna and Chris Brown fiasco has been sad and painful to watch. Obviously it's tragic and painful to know a young woman was brutalized in such a violent fashion. It is equally painful to know that a young man who by all accounts is a decent human-being essentially snapped and lashed out in violence towards the young woman he supposedly loves. What I find amazing is how so many people can be so insensitive to the plight of these two young people.

When tragedies happen we always seem to want to define the moment in simplistic terms of hero, villain and victim. Life doesn't EVER work that way. One person's freedom fighter is another persons terrorist. One persons victim is another person's enabler. We also forget that these two people are essentially kids. In my opinion they need help, they need guidance, they need love. What they probably don't need is bitter adults pointing fingers and piling our own baggage and failed relationships unto their shoulders.

When Rihanna decided to NOT play victim and instead to do what she thinks is right; including possibly working things out with Chris it unleashed a backlash against her. For me the backlash told the real story. I honestly think a few people are genuinely concerned for her and of course we should be. However, I think more than a few people were disappointed that she was robbing us of an opportunity to watch another episode of villain vs. victim. Demonizing another young black male and turning a hurt young woman into a heroine without knowing the circumstances doesn't really feel like a prudent or loving thing to do. If we really love these kids and want the best for them then I'd think we be praying that they get some counseling, take some time apart and then decide for themselves what is right going forward. Seems to me that would be a very LOVING way of looking at it. This general feeling of disappointment that I sense in the air that there will be no public morality play feels like a half-hearted display of compassion and concern.

I don't ever want my daughter, niece or any human being to be subjected to any kind of abuse (emotional, physical or spiritual). Violence is clearly wrong and should be prevented when possible and punished when necessary. However, I think it is equally important to teach young men that it is NOT weak to show emotion. Too often men in western culture (particularly men of color) are taught that showing emotion is being weak. We're all human beings and essentially we are emotionl creatures. If you take away nearly all of our emotions and leave rage, aggression and anger as the only acceptable emotions for a man to express, well...you finish the sentence.

What Chris did is wrong. Why he did it needs to be understood. How to prevent anyone else from doing it needs to be the mission.

My humble thoughts on a sad situation.